What Happened to Civil Discourse?

Tonight I was wracked with some severe anxiety. I was lying in our spare bedroom, watching America's Next Top Model, eating thai food when BAM - anxiety rendered me useless. I would like to apologize to Sean and James, who were over at my house, hanging out with Seth. I was a total nightmare tonight, and completely unsocial, which isn't like me. I partly blame PMS (lets face it, sometimes it just plain sucks being a girl) but it was mainly anxiety. Not a good mix.

After a minor freak out which included prepping my room for proper sleep (all the pillows were in the right place, my face was washed, teeth were brushed, etc) I crawled into bed. Seth came in and for 30 minutes rubbed my head. Initially I couldn't pin point what was bothering me. This happens periodically. I have been known to wake up during the night gasping for air, very short of breath but no real reason why. I can't always pinpoint WHY I am having a bad day, why I am emotional or why I am anxious. During the head rub I think I figured it out. Seth and I started talked, and soon the real issue surfaced.


Tonight on my way to pick up dinner I was listening to "Democracy Now" - a liberal radio program on another local public radio station. They were talking about the freedom riders of the Civil Rights Movement. For those who don't know, the Freedom Riders were a group of white and black people that rode buses into the deeply segregated south in the early 1960s. They shared seats on the bus, the whites would use the black restrooms in bus stations, the blacks would use the white drinking fountains, etc. in order to bring attention to the issue of civil rights and segregation. They were arrested and nearly all of them were nearly beaten to death and nearly burned to death in their bus. I was sick listening to this. I didn't know much about this but I was struck by the horrible atrocity that they faced simply for making a stand. I thought, "Wow, our country has come a long way." I can't believe law enforcement allowed a group of KKK members 15 minutes to assault the Freedom Riders without arrest. They were nearly killed because they chose to do what we now see as humane and normal. I can't believe there were people that actually thought this merited murder. To whites and blacks, men and women.







I was relieved that our country not only is desegregated (at least by law) but amazed that after 50 years we have a black man in office. It really is remarkable.


But then I got to thinking. How much have we really changed?


This week has been hard for me. Like most of you I was thrilled with the news of Bin Laden and was glued to the TV, my phone, and the internet for nearly 3 hours. I watched in delight as groups of citizens gathered together to celebrate, an emotion that soon turned to embarrassment when some of the celebrations seemed to turn into a giant USA frat party.



It seems odd doesn't it? Celebrating the death of a human being? I felt my emotions turn from being glad, to feeling rather sad that I was so glad to hear of another person's demise. It doesn't feel right, no matter how evil he was.


One thing I did feel on Sunday night was relief that for awhile our country seem united in happiness that a war that we started 10 years ago to find Bin Laden was finally feeling hopeful and perhaps more worthwhile. I honestly never thought we would find him. We did though, and that is progress. It took a group of incredibly brave men to bring this hope back. Well done.



It only took a few hours before the mood of our unified country shifted drastically. Fights and debates broke out almost instantly. Who should get the credit - Bush or Obama? You know what - who gives a flying crap. They both deserve some credit in my book. The good news is that he is no longer the face of the Taliban. Facebook once again turned into a partisan fight match. Facebook "friends" started going at it. Mean spirited posts were made left and right. Then posts pleading for a truce started popping up. I wanted to scream and throw my computer out the window. Instead I deleted a couple people and hid a couple more. Now all the talk of "is he really dead?" is surfacing. Now the question of torture is back in the picture. I can't help but wonder how far we have really come as a country.


Where has our comment decency gone? Where has civil discourse disappeared to?


Today when I read that the White House would NOT be releasing pictures of Bin Laden I was relieved. I don't want to see something so gruesome. I know he's dead. We don't need to forward pictures of a man shot in the head around our email. I think it's a wise choice.


However, reading the comments after the story made me sick. There was horrible name calling - finger pointing and yelling. Conspiracy theories and story after story reporting on what Sarah Palin thinks, or Dick Cheney, or Boehner about Obama not releasing the photos. No matter where I look, Facebook, CNN.com, the Deseret News stories, Yahoo News, - all the comments are the same. People are rude, extremely rude. Rarely do you see a post of value. Rarely do you see a thoughtful comment. It's just negative and hurtful and frankly I am tired of it. I may sound like a broken record but most of these comments have no intelligent backing. They have no valid points. They are just heartless and mindless and it's really depressing.


I feel like 75% of our country is crazy and downright rude. It's very disheartening.


But are we? Is it just the internet and the "hidden" nature that it provides for us? I have to believe that. I have to believe we as a people are better than this. I have to believe that 90% of the comments I read online I would never hear someone say out-loud in public.


I have to believe this because it is really making me sad. What have we become? Or have we really always been this mean spirited? This issue is what is keeping me up late tonight. This issue made me take a Xanax so I could breathe. That isn't good people. Common decency toward each other shouldn't be so difficult.


The wise Martin Luther King said, "Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation."







Here is my plea, that we knock it off. That we realize most people are inherently good. That we give people the benefit of the doubt. That we stop name calling. That we stop judging. That we stop fighting with one another simply because we have different political parties. That we stop making horrible and rude accusations. That we stop making rude or condescending posts and comments.


I'm vowing to work on it. Will you?


MLK sums it up best, "I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear."