The Avery Six

I highly doubt I am alone in thinking that my family is a bit crazy. Don't get me wrong, I love them all dearly but they are certainly a bit crazy. I am one of the craziest, I know this.

We have had our rocky roads, our ups and downs, our good times and our bad times. Yet, even through all the crap, we can still come together as a family when we need to. In fact, my friend Ashtin said, "Your family can be so fu**** up - but you are amazing when you pull together!"

Love you Ashes, I couldn't have said it better myself.

I won't go into much detail but we decided at the very last minute that we needed to gather together, hop on a plane (flying standby) and go spend a weekend in San Francisco with my brother Chris, or Fer as we call him. We miss him and we care about him. We hope that we can convince him to move back to Salt Lake. He's been gone for too long.

We went back and forth about who all should go and decided that it would be powerful if just the original Avery family went. No step-parents, no spouses, no half sisters, just the 6 of us. While we love all of our family it has just been too long since we have spent quality time together. The last time we went on a vacation together was I think 23 years ago. A trip to Hawaii that I actually have no recollection of (I was only 7).

Five days after we decided to take this vacation we were on our way to San Francisco.

Fer didn't know that all 5 of us were coming. He only thought Eric and Dad were coming. So when we arrived at his house Eric and Dad went right in. My mom, Heather and I waited about 5 minutes and then snuck up to the front of his house. The boys were in the back yard and so I knocked on his gate and said in a disguised voice "Helllllloooooo?"

Fer looked toward the gate and said, "What? Who is that?!"

"Let me innnnnnnnnnnn!"

"I have no idea who that is. I don't really know any girls!"

Fer looked over the gate, and didn't recognize me in the dark (it was midnight at this point). It took my mom saying, "Hi Fer!" for him to realize who it was.

He screamed, laughed and threw open the gate where we had a slightly tearful reunion. I wish this picture wasn't blurry.

Our trip was wonderful. It was so nice spending time together. Traveling with our family is easy. We are all on-time. We didn't have to go back and forth deciding what to do, where to eat, etc. We just went - in a fast pace. If you know us, you know how quickly we can move. We spent the day at Fisherman's Wharf. We rode "The Duck" and had a blast.

We spent time driving across the Golden Gate Bridge, and touring the city. We played with Fer's crazy dog Skyler (who is tiny but can seriously jump up to my face). We ate pizza in our hotel room and reminisced. It was really nice.

I have always felt very fortunate that my parents have remained close and civil since their divorce. At family parties you will often find my mom and dad sitting together and talking. I love that they have been able to get along, and with my amazing step-parents. Not everyone can say they took a vacation with their divorced mom and dad. I can and I feel very lucky. It wasn't awkward either. It was really nice.

I'm not entirely sure we convinced Fer to come home. He's a grown man and only time will tell. He lives in a great house and the city is beautiful. I can understand why it is hard for him to leave. I suppose I can only hope that "we" are reason enough.

I've had a lot of time to think about my family and how each of us are so incredibly different. Yet again, at a time of need we pulled together and I think our differences make us strong.

I love my dad for his forward manner. I love that he isn't shy and I can and always have been able to talk openly and candidly with him. I love that even though he is strong that he has such a soft heart. No one can move me to tears quite like my father. I love that he has such an amazing understanding of what it is to be Christlike. I love that he can willingly see and admit his faults. I love that no matter what his kids do, he loves us. We always know that. We know where we stand with him.

And then there is my sweet mother. A woman who has taken on the weight of each of her children and our pain. So much so that it manifests itself in her physical ailments. She would give everything for her children. She is above all a caretaker. She's the one I called when I recently had the flu. She is the one that picks stuff up at the store that she thinks we will need. She is the one that always know what is going on in our lives. She stays in touch with us, more so that most mothers. I know when my phone rings exactly what my mom will say, "Hi, how did your dinner turn out?" "Hey, how was your event last night?" "Hi B, did Seth love his Tube bunny?" We have all tried to teach mom to not take on our burdens and while she has improved over the years, she hasn't quite perfected it. I doubt she ever will. We are her life and therefore our burdens, and joys, are hers. And we love her for it.

No one makes us laugh harder that Fer. While reminiscing we laughed over story after story of Fer. Stories of him sneaking the Suburban out of the garage in the middle of the night, stories of pushing his cars across the Bay Bridge, stories of how accident prone he has been his whole life (he has 9 lives), stories about unlikely friends he makes. In fact, his empathy and compassion for people less fortunate amazes me. He is a good person who cares deeply for others. Fer is such a hard worker. Everything he does he does to perfection. He takes so much pride in what he has and what he has accomplished. Whatever he does he does well and he works harder than anyone I know. He is also the known favorite of all the grandparents. Perhaps it is because he was the 1st? Probably not. His love radiates and we simply don't get to bask in that love as much as we could. Ahem - move home.

Then there is my beautiful sister Heather. Heather is the quiet and wise one of the family. Heather talks the least out of all of us. Yet when she does talk it is always a bit profound. Often you see her sitting in the background, observing the rest of us chatterboxes. What I love about Heather is her level head. When I have problems I love going to Heather. She doesn't get wrapped up in the emotions too often. She sees things clearly and helps others see things clearly as well. I love how accepting Heather is. She loves people for who they are, no matter their flaws. If only more of us could be like her. Heather is another person that I know would do anything for me. She is that way for all those she cares about. She would do anything to help us. When she sets her mind to something, she is unstoppable. If only SHE knew how much we all admire her and her inner strength.

We joke that Eric came out of the womb happy and positive. Honestly there are people you meet in this world that are always happy and yet it rarely seems genuine. My brother is genuine. He is just a happy, positive guy. Eric is the one that always looks on the bright side of things and believes that if you put positivity out there, it will come back to you. Eric loves what he loves fully. His dogs, his family, his 311. He is also the most affectionate person I know. As a child I only fought with him because he kissed me too much, not because he was mean to me. I rarely remember him being mean to me. He is also one of the most sensitive guys that I know. He will cry at a commercial, song, TV show or beautiful rainbow (sorry had to throw in a shout out to the youtube rainbow guy - that's totally my brother). Eric is also my protector. If I had an ounce of his positivity I would be so happy. Because he is happy, so happy.

I'm not entirely sure what I bring to the family. I suppose brutal honesty? Mediation? I'm not sure but I do know that I often hear, "Becky you call Eric/Heather/Fer - they listen to you." Maybe in a way I am the peace maker? I'm not sure.

I do know that as quirky and as eccentric as we all are, together we are great. I am so happy we had those 3 days in San Francisco. To show our love as a family.