The Parting of Ways

Well - I am here to announce that there may be a parting of ways. I can't do it anymore. I love you yoga but I am not sure you and I are meant to be together anymore. I know that in the past you have helped me manage my weight, my headaches, my stress, and have helped me see less injuries in running. But I simply can't do it anymore.


Why?

You know why.

There are way too many horrible yoga teachers. And I can't sit through another bad yoga class.

Things have been OK in Boise since I moved here, but they haven't been great. I realized this week that a large part of this may be because I haven't gone to yoga. Yoga for me is like a breath of fresh air. It's nearly as satisfying as a good massage. Yoga can take me from a really hard and bad day and help me feel better. Yoga can force me to confront emotions that I have been pushing to the back of my mind. In a nutshell - it's my place to find a little serenity.

So this morning I woke up - feeling motivated - and happy - the sun was shining, yada yada yada.

I made my way over to the YMCA to try out an "all-levels yoga" class.

I paid $40 for a 4 class pass (thanks to stupid Gold's Gym I can't go there for yoga and I can't join the YMCA) and made my way to the yoga studio.

I should have known - as soon as I saw the teacher I should have known that this was going to turn out to be a bad idea.

Guys - I don't want an overweight yoga teacher. I know that sounds terrible. But I want a ripped yoga teacher. During my class I want to look at someone who makes me think "OK , I know you are tired but if you keep it up - you will look like her!"

I don't want to do yoga from a lady who looks like a cross between this...

and this...

(I am going to burn in hell)

The class was TERRIBLE. I mean, terrible. There was no breathing, no music, no flow between poses. There was no meditation, no relaxation, nothing. In fact, I think we did maybe 5 poses in the 1 hour and 15 minute class.

"In order to get full benefits from shoulder stand pose, you need to remain in it for 10 minutes."

10 minutes? You are joking me right?

Ugh.

Not only were the poses bad but humpty was a mean yoga teacher. I mean - MEAN. "Wrong leg, I said start with your right leg back!"

"You aren't staying in the pose long enough. Get back in it!"

"You don't think you can do it? Well think again!"

What? Who does that!?

One of the things I have always loved about yoga is the sense that you will benefit - no matter what level you are at. There is never a sense of competition, etc.

Mean yoga teacher didn't even do any of the poses herself. It was really odd.

So here I am 12:30 on a Saturday, and I am pissed. Like really pissed. All I wanted and needed was a yoga class to help rejuvenate me. Instead I left class disappointed and nearly in tears. Not only did I waste my time, I wasted a possible 500+ calorie burning run.

Because like I said, it's 12:30 and I am NOT going to go running now.

And this is why yoga and I may need to part ways. I was very spoiled in Salt Lake with Micah - and I don't know if I will ever be able to find a teacher as good as she is.

Sad. All I need is a little yoga-peace. You know?