I hate summer.
I know people think I'm crazy but I just don't love summer. As a kid it was awesome. No school. No responsibilities. Hanging out with friends all day. Spending so much time at the pool that my hair turned green. Night games. Sleepovers. Camping and vacations. Summer as a kid was awesome.
Summer as an adult without kids, still pretty great. Festivals. Vacations. Hanging out in the canyons. Rock climbing. Staying up late with friends. Fourth of July in Boise.
Outdoor concerts. Long bike rides.
Summer with young kids...not fun. I think eventually I'll love the summer again. Maybe when my kids are older and going to the pool means "taking the kids swimming while I relax and read a book". Right now going to the pool means making sure the girls aren't burning, drowning or getting splashed by the big kids. Most summer activities require an insane amount of planning and packing for an activity that lasts maybe 1-2 hours tops and is just a lot of damn work.
We don't really go to festivals. Festivals mean crowds. Crowds and strollers don't mix. Festivals mean heat...which I hate. I don't even stay up late anymore because the blasted sun wakes my kids up at 6am or earlier. And my kids really just need to go to bed at a decent hour. Last night we were late getting the girls to bed. They both went to bed about an hour later than normal. They were both a mess today. It's just not worth it. So we bring them home. We leave the barbecues early because it's just not worth a full day of fussy kids because they are tired.
Vacations? Ya, vacations with little ones are not fun. They are trips. They are exhausting. I can't wait until my kids are about 7 and 10. Road trips will be a blast. Right now, Matilda just screams in her carseat. Right now I see people posting pictures of their vacations and I practically cry with envy. Seth and I haven't had a night away together in 16 months. 16 freaking months. The need I have for a vacation is intense. The jealousy is palpable. I seriously can't stop thinking about this trip with my friends...and wanting to be there so much that I almost can't stand it.
My biggest gripe about summer though is the heat. I hate that I can't take my girls to the park in the middle of the day because it's too hot and the slides could potentially scald their legs. I love the idea of barbecues with family and friends, but it's often to hot to enjoy being outside until the sun goes down.
Sleeping in the summer is tough because it doesn't cool off enough at night to sleep with the windows open. Trying to run any later than 8am usually is impossible because it's too hot. Boo for heat!
And can I talk about something that I absolutely hate that goes hand-in-hand with this awful season? Fireworks. Now, let me be clear, I don't mind them on the 4th and the 24th. I get it. Have fun. Light them. Go to overly crowded parks and witness the shows. That is fun (again my kids are too little to take there) But why, oh why do we have to have them all damn summer? I don't know if it's just my neighborhood but I start hearing them at the end of June and they last through Labor Day. Late at night, in the middle of the night, those huge ariel ones keep me awake and pisses me right off. I want to punch fireworks in the face because people are so inconsiderate. I can't put in earplugs so it just interrupts my sleep. Stupid fireworks make me irrationally angry.
So yes. I hate summer. You know the best part about summer? The anticipation of autumn. Seriously, I'm already excited for fall. I get butterflies thinking about fall. The crisp days, the brilliant colors, the smells, the baking, the fashion, pumpkins, football, Halloween, etc. Autumn is the best season. It comes too late and leaves too soon but I love it so damn much.
Ok now that I have my hatred of summer off my chest (holy cow I really just went off there didn't I?), I really need to start thinking of ways to make peace with it. I can't change summer. So how do I embrace it? I see so many friends that just dread the coming of school every August. They hate the schedules and routine...and I crave that. How do you teach a type A, OCD personality to enjoy the carefree days of summer?
Summer, I desperately want to love you. I want to look forward to you. I want to enjoy the heat and get a nice tan. I want to stay up late with my kids watching movies in the park. I want to go camping and to the firework shows.
But I ... just...can't.
So do I just come to terms with the reality of my summers for now? Do I just bask in the glory of Netflix binging? Do I blow up inflatable pools, put my baby in a cute swimming suit and sit in a lawn chair while drinking a beer and call it good?
That's my reality right now. Summers aren't relaxing. Summers are just seasons that make me insanely jealous of people with more freedom than I have. But summer won't always suck for me. In about 3-4 years I will probably love summer and despise fall. I may discover what the big fuss is about. But for now, I have to simply make peace with this blasted season.
This year I vow to buy fireworks to shoot off in my driveway. And invite a whole group of family and friends to come and enjoy with us.
Our new house has a covered patio, so I will have barbecues often, and at 6pm and won't die of heat. I'll take the girls swimming and be completely ok with leaving after 45 minutes. I'll plan a couple of small weekend trips with my little family because that's what you do in the summer. You go on vacation. Boise, here we come! I vow to put the girls to bed and to spend some evenings sitting outside with Seth, enjoying summer nights (which are pretty spectacular - and the only redeeming part of summer here) while we drink wine.
And maybe, just maybe, I'll get a babysitter a couple of summer nights so that Seth and I can walk up to the park and enjoy watching Goonies with 400 other people.
Summer. I'm here to embrace you. I can't change this situation. Rather than hate you, i'm going to try so hard to find ways to love you.
Maybe that simply means eating more tomatoes? Challenge accepted.
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