In the last few months Seth had several different job offers. I won't go into any details but one job was in Boise and others were here. We actually accepted a job in Boise, waited for a counter-offer from his current employer, and then a dream job opened up. Life threw us for a bit of a tailspin. What do we do?
The next few weeks were really rough, but in the end really wonderful. Seth and I weren't in a very good place before the time to make a big decision came up. We were stuck in an exhausted rut. A rut that usually meant falling dead asleep on the couch once Millie was in bed. We weren't having discussions or conversations of any kind. We were really coexisting.
Now we had a decision to make. A life changing decision and it forced us to talk. And that's what we did. For weeks we talked. We spent hours and hours trying to decide what to do. We love Boise. In many ways I think our hearts our in Boise. We want to someday end up back there. We want Millie to go to school there. I can breathe in Boise. But was now the right time? We could get a new house. Seth would have way better work hours. We could be near some really great friends. We could be "away" and have our little family adventure. I could try my hand at being a stay-at-home mom.
However, I would have to try my hand as a stay-at-home mom. I would have to leave my dream job at KUER. We also have family here. We have our house here. We have a network of support in Utah. Could I have another baby without the help of grandmas and sisters? Plus, the dream job was here for Seth too.
What do we do?
It became very clear to us toward the end of our decision that this wasn't really a "test" to see if we could make the right decision. It was a test of our marriage It was a test for us to take time to talk things through. It was a test to hear each other's fears, hopes and dreams. It was a test of my patience. I do not like dragging out decisions. I like to make pro and con lists and make a rational decision. Plus, once the decision is made, I rarely look back. I move forward. Seth on the other hand, is completely opposite. He likes to take his time. Feel things out. Listen to his heart. Once a decision is made, he likes to flip-flop immediately.
Therefore, we went back and forth several times. I would feel strongly about going to Boise, he would feel just the opposite. I would decide staying was a great idea, Seth would feel like it was time to go. We drank a bottle of wine and went to a nice restaurant and talked. We wrote lists, we prayed, we consulted the Russian Gypsy Fortune Telling Cards, we read parts of the I Ching, Seth had a Tarot Card reading. Trust me, short of sacrificing a lamb, we tried everything. And still the answer was not clear.
It was clear though that there was no best decision. Each decision had wonderful opportunities. We couldn't make a bad decision. The test was just to see if we could make a decision and stick with it.
And so we did.
We are staying in Utah.
And we "mostly" feel great about it. Because again, both decisions had a whole lot of "pros". We feel a bit heartbroken to say goodbye to the chance of Boise. Yet we feel excited to be staying here. Seth will be starting a job at Huntsman Cancer Institute in June. We are thrilled that he will be working at such a wonderful and prestigious facility. I'm excited that he will be up on U of U campus with me. He will have way more time off and the chance to have days at home with Millie. I'll feel some burden lifted and we will each have a bit of free time. I get to stay at KUER and we get to continue working on improving our home. We stay near family, cousins and friends.
This experience was really interesting. It made us take a long, hard look at our lives. It brought us closer than we have been in years. We must have talked for 40+ hours about this decision. And as hard as it was, I'm ok with it. I'm actually grateful for it.
My sister is way excited that Seth is going to Huntsman :). He will be fantastic there.
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