A Love Letter

In an attempt to be a bit more intimate with my blog - I want to type a journal entry that I wrote a week ago. It's a love letter of sorts for Boise.

One week into my return home and I am suddenly filled with so much sadness. Why leave Boise? As I flip through my phone I see so many pictures of great memories of the last year. It makes me sad. It makes me feel like a failure. Why couldn't I be fully happy there? I love the people. I sit at the airport gate and feel more at ease with these Boise residents than I do with the people I have been surrounded by my whole life. Even things that made me roll my eyes before (the man sitting next to me in his BSU blues and oranges) brings a sentimental smile to my face. They are truly genuine and kind people. I know Seth is at home feeling dread at the prospect of leaving - and now that dread has settled into me. What are we doing?

The last few months in Boise were amazing. Autumn leaves scattered inches deep across our neighborhood streets. The world came alive in a city that doesn't always show off it's amazing colors.

We filled our time with Ashtin's family. How sad I am to be leaving them. During my 11 months with them I learned that I don't need fancy parties, flashy friends, or fabulous activities. I just needed them, and a pumpkin patch, or an oven for baking, or paper and markers to create something wonderful.

I needed first steps, first words, music to dance to and games of Candyland. They became home to us in Boise. Ashtin I love you. I am so happy that after nearly 10 years of living in separate states, that we had a chance to be together. Thank you for making a really difficult situation at times really wonderful. Thank you for the visits at work. Thank you for the invites to dinner.

Thank you for the daily calls and for the much needed girl's nights. I am so in love with your precious girls and your darling husband. I already miss you guys more than I can say.

I also will miss Katie terribly. Katie was the first real friend I met in Boise. She not only made my work so much more enjoyable (what with our weekly trips to Costa Vida, drooling over cyclists, singing, etc) but she made me feel like I had a place in Boise. I loved our Bachelorette nights - or our Harry Potter movie nights. Katie is a great friend and it never mattered that she was 8 years younger than me. She was a loyal friend to me. I'll miss her but hopefully can convince her to move to Salt Lake some day!

To me, Boise has a sweet sense of community that I am not sure I have here in Utah. This doesn't mean I can't find it eventually but there is a strong community there. One that I hope to return to someday when my kids are grown. To me Boise is walking through Hyde Park to pick up some of our favorite black licorice in Hyde Park.

It's feeling the comradery with the early morning runners at Camel's Back Park. One of my favorite memories of my time in Boise were those early morning runs on beautiful spring mornings practically in my back yard.

It's the simple, but real conversations that I had nearly every day with the cashier at Albertsons, or the lady at the dry cleaner, or the employees at the YMCA that I will miss.

I will also miss the charming farmer's market downtown and the homemade doughnuts, rootbeer, and danish cookies.

I'll miss that Seth & I could be downtown in 5 minutes - 10 if we rode our bikes.

I'll miss the quirky shops. I'll miss summer night's on 8th street and all the people dining outside.

I'll miss our favorite restaurant. I'll miss having a glass of wine at dinner and not worrying whether the people at the next people are judging me because I am drinking

I'll miss the coffee shops - which seem to be on every corner but are equally charming, comfortable and delicious.

I'll miss Halloween in Boise and how much the people there "overdo" it.

I'll miss summer in Boise. I'll miss floating the river on a hot day.

I'll miss riding my bike along the Green Belt to Lucky Peak.

I'll miss the Hyde Park Street Fair.

I'll miss the clean air and the less complicated traffic congestion. The list could go on and on.

To Seth and I Boise was our city, our adventure. It was our challenge. At times we had each other and no one else. We had a beautiful home (even though we only lived in 1/3 of it). It was our chance to build a home and a life together. And we did.

Yet as much as we loved Boise we felt like we were called home In order for the two of us to be happy we needed to both be fully happy. We both need fulfilling jobs. We missed our family and friends. We missed the mountains. And as hard as it was to leave last weekend we feel we are making the right decision for us. We both cried and cried as we drove away. It's funny how just when you make a decision on a big change life makes you question. We love Boise and we do hope to be back there someday. Perhaps to raise our children when they get older so that they will have the chance to love it like we did.