Last Night In Boise

Tonight is my official last night in Boise. I have such mixed feelings. Part of me feels butterflies in anticipation of Thanksgiving, new jobs, new adventures, and old friends. Part of me feels sad to be leaving our life here. I have found it hard to admit to myself how much I am going to miss this place. But I am. There, I said it.

I have enjoyed 2 full days off while I relax and enjoy some time between jobs. I baked Rolo Cookies yesterday - heavenly. I attempted to make my first batch of homemade dinner rolls and failed miserably. I went to the gym, I shopped, I ran errands, I did laundry, etc. In short I get what it is like to be a stay at home type of person.

Seth is working late tonight. Rather than doing what I should be doing - mainly packing this adorable house... I just can't bring myself to do it. Tonight is not the night. It is Glee night afterall.

Plus who knows - if everything is true about Utah blizzard we may not be able to leave tomorrow anyway. Thank you Facebook Friends for your gazillion updates about the weather!

I decided tonight in honor of the cold weather and "stormy Utah" (it's not stormy here but due to Facebook and all the chatter about it - I feel like it is happening to me as well) I decided to try homemade rolls again - and make one of my favorite meals, tortellini soup.

Tortellini soup is a family tradition. Grandpa Disera would make this soup every Christmas Eve. My heart still hurts when I realize that he won't be in the kitchen this Christmas Eve. My how I still miss him. While I am excited to eat it tonight there is a part of me that feels like the timing is wrong. Tortellini soup was a once in a year type of meal. I am doing it anyway.

The weird thing is that I am making it according to the Ivory Family "Favorites" cook book. Which, if you don't have, is the single greatest cook book I have ever owned. Make-A-Wish sells it and the thing just flies off the shelves. It's a bit crazy really - but I see why. Every recipe is delightful.

It was with shock and a bit of shame that I realized that I had my grandpa's recipe sitting in the kitchen as well (of course after the soup was simmering).

Luckily I compared the two recipes and noticed that the ONLY difference is that the Ivory recipe calls for a 1/2 cup of white wine (yum!) and grandpa's calls for 1/2 cup of red wine (doh!)

Thank goodness I have a bottle of red wine in the house. Now I can enjoy it true grandpa style. He'll forgive me. I actually spoke outloud while baking and said, "Beetle I should have used your recipe! What was I thinking - I am so sorry!"

While waiting for the soup to simmer I enjoyed some Pandora radio on my TV. When "Brown Eyed Girl" came on I danced, and then lied down by my TV to listen. It's just too good to not fully allow yourself to enjoy the song.

Even Tube Bunny got his groove on! Silly Tube Bunny likes to always be part of the action.

He was even waiting patiently while the rolls rose. .

Which didn't happen all that well but still much better than yesterday's failure.

When I took them out of the oven they looked pretty great. I am a bit proud of myself. Maybe I will become the amazing baker that I hope to be!

Bon Appetite everyone! I'll see you soon!

Man Seth doesn't know what he is missing! Freshly baked rolls, Tube Bunny Dancing and awesome me!

My Only C+

I was always a model student. I did my homework, I participated in class, I did well on tests. Well, except for Chemistry but who counts that wretched class? In fact, while talking to Sarah Timms the other day I was surprised to hear that she didn't care about school until college. She says she didn't worry about homework. Not me. I was a good student. I may not have taken AP classes but I always did my homework. I learned quickly that I was able to speed read. I am a fast writer. I struggled through math and science but still managed to pull of As and Bs. In fact, I never received anything lower than a B- for 14 years.

My junior year of college changed this. I decided to take an elective course called "Stress Management." You all know me. You know I can be a total stress ball. I thought to myself "Oh this class is perfect! I'll learn how to manage my stress! I will emerge a zen like person full of confidence and peace."

In the class I remember learning how to rid stress through exercise (duh) - and art (have you seen my animal drawings - mental note to self - future blog subject) - and sleep (easy for me!). The class wasn't anything special. Yet we did have tests.

I know right? A test in stress management? Weird.

During my junior year I was a newly wed. I was working for The Christmas Box House and I was going to school. I was a busy 21 year old. It was finals time during fall semester. Because of my job this also meant it was Christmas Store time. The Christmas Store was an event/project I was in charge of. It was basically a store for foster kids. I arranged donations from tons of community members and opened 1-2 week "store" for foster kids to come shop. It was exhausting. Yet I loved it. But of course, it was stressful!

I decided to be a rebel and not bother studying for my stress management final. "How hard can this test be?" I reasoned. I decided to skip the pre-test class and get some much needed rest. I showed up to the class, took the test and walked away. I figured it wouldn't matter if I didn't do well. I would get a B. No biggie.

When the professor gave me my test back the following week - I failed it. This led to me getting my first and only C+ in the history of my education. I was able to ace constitutional law during my master's degree but didn't get an A or B in stress management. My teacher handed me the test, looked at me and said, "You know, I think that not studying for this test was the best thing you could do to manage your stress." She laughed and walked away. Apparently I did learn something in this class! C+ what a lesson you were!

Normally I don't handle stress well. In fact, yoga is the only thing that has really helped my stress on a large scale. Naps seem to help, and food. Tonight I was feeling completely overwhelmed and rather than working out I came home, read my book, took a 20 minute nap and felt better. Now I am drinking hot chocolate and blogging. Writing helps. It really does.

The following things are causing me a large amount of stress. I think if you look up the top 10 stress causing life events that I have a few in my life at this time.

1. The end of my job. I have 2 days left with the MS Society. While I am thrilled and excited to be done with my job with it comes a lot of stress. I am trying to wrap everything up so that I can leave with a clean slate. I am leaving things so organized. I am handing them my job in perfect binders with tons of explanations. And yet, I still feel guilt. I'll miss some of these people. A lot. And while this job has been a challenge from day 1 I have grown so much. And learned so much. I don't regret it.

2. Moving. I hate moving. Not only are we moving but Seth and I are moving at different times. Actually because Seth's start date it still in the air (mid December or end of January!?) we don't know WHEN we are moving. Can we move right into our house? Probably not. Chances are I will be moving into my house about 5 days before Christmas. When are we going to have time to put up a Christmas tree!? Do I need a storage unit? When am I going to pack the house? Can I hire movers? What do I need to do to cancel utilities? I have to change my address - again. Moving sucks.

3. New job. While I am excited as can be about my new job I am suddenly VERY nervous. I've never really done major gifts before (other than sponsorships). What if I am terrible at it? What if I can't relate to donors? What if they regret hiring me? All of these emotions are just billowing up inside of me and causing me to doubt my abilities. Instead of focusing on self doubt I like to try rather to focus on what cool people I'll hopefully meet while working with KUER. Ira Glass anyone?

4. Seth's job. I've already complained about us not knowing when Seth will be starting his job. I am very nervous about his job in Utah once he is working. He'll be working 7 days on (10 hour days) and 7 days off. Those "on weeks" may prove to be really tough on our relationship. I hope not. I know he will thrive. It still makes me nervous.

5. Feelings of doubt. It's interesting how life works sometimes. Once we decided to leave Boise and move home it seems like everything in Boise seemed to fall into place. I am so in love with Boise right now. I blame the fall. Fall here has been spectacular. We have had so much fun the last month. We feel like we have a good set of friends here now. We love our house. We love the people here and the city. Why is it that once you decide to take yet another leap of faith that life throws doubt in your face? Look Boise back off! We are moving home! Quit being so awesome.

Well there is my rant. I will now stop my blogging and can check "write a blog" off my ever growing "to do" list. I will try to not let my mind wander into depths of all the work that lies ahead of me tomorrow and will focus instead on the highlights of tomorrow: Dinner with Erin & Michael - and a midnight showing of Harry Potter. I may pee my pants.

Seth is out with the guys and so it's my "dinner of champions" tonight. Pasta with mushrooms, edimame and a diet coke. All while watching America's Next Top Model. Now that's what I call stress management. A+ to me.