Power of Positive Thinking, or Something Like That

Today I have decided that I am turning over a new leaf. That's right. The new Becky will now be happy, positive and patient. Life will be full of rainbows and sunshine again!

To be honest, I haven't been that great lately. I have probably been killing my new husband with my impatience and frustration. So, today, I am going to be better.

• Gone are the days when I stress out about where Seth and I are moving to.



• Gone are the days where I swear and freak out when I find out yet another job needs 2 more weeks to decide whether or not to hire Seth!



• Gone are the days where I freak out about the idea of not being able to have my own house and Christmas tree with Seth for our first Christmas as a married couple.



• Gone are the days where I worry about whether I will be leaving Make-A-Wish, should Seth and I leave, because I know I will have everything taken care of and in a good place for them.
  

There is one thing that I have learned from my darling husband, to just "let it be." I have never been someone to just let things go. When I was going through my divorce I was a mess (obviously). Seth used to say to me, "You are fine, you are going to be ok. Just let it be. Stop trying to control it."

Control it!? Me?!? If there is one thing I am not...it's a control freak!

Ok that's a lie.

I come from a major stress case/control freak mother, and I am just like her.

She may be a stress ball but I totally adore her and understand her.

So, time for goal setting.

Today I vow to:

• Work every day at Make-A-Wish like it is my last. Because honestly, if I have to leave, I am going to miss it desperately. I mean, how could I not?

• Continue going to yoga. Yoga has changed my life in so many ways. When I am going, I feel better. I feel more relaxed, I feel stronger, I feel more centered. Since my wedding I have fallen off the bandwagon a bit, and BOY have I felt the difference. So, back to yoga, check!
  

• Find a sense of spirituality again. Since I have been inactive in the church, I have lost a sense of spirituality. I want to feel some connection to God again. It's hard to find it when you aren't part of the religion you identified with all of your life. So, I vow to pray daily, maybe read some religious/inspirational books and try to improve who I am as a person.

• Let it be. That's right. This will be the hardest one for me. I can't control the future, I can't force people to do anything. I simply have to let things be. Another thing that I have learned is that life is perfect. Everything will work out the way that it is supposed to. Enough said. Let it be. In the words of the great Beatles song, "Let it be, let it be. Let it be, ya let it be. There will be an answer, let it be."

• Not get down on myself. Seriously, I have too much to be grateful for. A great husband, a family and loves and supports me, wonderful friends, a great job. We have a place to live (rent free) until we find out where we are landing. We are very lucky. I should be enjoying this time. Once Seth has a job, he'll likely be working long hours (which is fine) and I won't see him as much.

So that's it. Those are my current goals. I owe it to Seth and those closest to me to fix things. I'm sorry I haven't been better. Part of me and my OCD is goal setting, so lets see if it works. Wish me luck.